When my wife and best friend, Marijana, died after a short but intense fight with Glioblastoma Multiforme (a very aggressive brain tumor), a lot of unfinished paintings, poetry and stories died too. Such a tragedy. But she faced death with such calmness and dignity that it inspired everyone close to her. What a girl. It must have been the Viking genes in her ancestry shining through.

The day after she left this life I wrote a little story and sent it to some of our friends, simply to vent some of the grief I experienced. However, I received so much feedback that I decided to repeat it here. I have taken some liberties with the details of her voyage, just because I have such fond memories of the mail-ship era.

Some readers might not be familiar with the vessels I am describing, but many of the older folks will remember the Royal Mail Ships that sailed between the UK and South Africa. From Southampton they would make their first landfall at Cape Town, and then proceed to Port Elizabeth, East London and Durban before returning to the UK. I grew up in East London during the 50s and 60s and can vividly remember Union Castle ships such as the RMS Windsor Castle, Pendennis Castle and Transvaal Castle calling at the local port.

East London has the only river harbor in South Africa, and in order to make it navigable and prevent a built-up of sand at the entrance (apparently one could cross in an ox-wagon at low tide during the early 1800s) they dredged the entrance and built a large breakwater on the seaward side, and a shorter pier in the landward side (do a Google Earth if you can). This makes entering and leaving quite tricky for large ships, hence the port has a resident pilot to steer the ships in and out.

One can watch the ships leaving either from the quayside, from the pier, or from the adjacent Orient beach (named after the Russian sailing ship that ran aground there in 1907 on its way to Australia).

One more thing…those perfect afternoons. I’m sure they are not unique to East London, but I’ve spoken to several people who are familiar with them. Typically in March and April, one would encounter an ‘Indian Summer’ with balmy afternoons, neither hot nor cold, hardly a cloud in the sky, and not a breeze moving. I can recall many a Friday afternoon after school when I would lie on my back on the back lawn of my parents’ home, just watching the clouds or the odd small plane flying overhead.

It was on such a perfect afternoon that Marijana left…
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In July 2010, after discussing a very distressing MRI scan result with her neurologist, showing a 2-inch tumor in the left parietal lobe of her brain, we realized that she might have to embark on this adventure; traveling to the ‘other land’ to visit so many of her beloved friends and family, such as her late dad, her beloved ‘Ouma Granny’, and others that she had not seen for some years. And so, on that perfect cloudless Friday afternoon, I drove her to the quayside at East London where the Windsor Castle was moored.

We checked in her baggage and then there was the usual embraces, cuddles, whispering sweet nothings, and promises, and I held her close to me until they were preparing to raise the gangways. Now I had to let her go on board. Half-way up the steps she hesitated for a few seconds, turned half-way around and briefly looked at me as if she still wanted to tell me something (maybe wanting to remind me to look well after all the animals at home); but then she continued up the steps and disappeared into the ship.

A few minutes later she emerged on the lower passenger deck amidst the hundreds of other passengers. Like everyone else she tossed me a colored streamer, and by a sheer fluke I managed to grab the other end. And there we stood…two soul-mates connected with a simple piece of crimson crinkle paper. Just like all the other passengers and well-wishers on the quayside. She was radiant, looking more like an excited schoolgirl rather than a mature woman. The reddish curly hair that she hated so much (and I always thought to be sexy) and the little blue dress with the while collar.

We seemed to stand there for ages, then the crew with their thick leather gloves started slipping the mooring ropes off the bollards and the two steam-driven tugboats, one at the bow and one at the stern, gave full power and started pulling the grand old lady of the seas away from the quayside. The red crinkle paper streamer between us grew taut, and snapped.

After fifty yards or so the tugs stopped, cast of their ropes, the water at the Windsor Castle’s stern started churning and the massive piece of steel came into motion, with some Phillip Sousa march music playing over the loudspeaker system. I waved and waved until I could see Marijana no longer; then started running around towards the Orient Beach to catch another glimpse of the departing vessel.

The ship moves much faster than I can, so I was not in time to see transfer of the pilot, but I could hear the deafening roar of the big ship’s horn and the “whoop, whoop, whoop” of the pilot boat as the two vessels parted ways, the smaller boat made a u-turn, and returned to port. As a reached the beach I could still see the Windsor Castle’s stern, but she was now quite some distance away. I stood there for about half-an-hour, until I could see her no more.

By now dusk had set in, and there was this indescribable blue-and-purple haze on the Eastern horizon where the ship had disappeared. I clambered on to the rocks, and just stared at the sea. This amazing piece of water, that’s been there for billions of years. And will be for as many, I guess. A terrible sense of melancholy, of loss, of emptiness, overcame me.

Then I realized that neither the Windsor Castle, nor Marijana, were really gone. I just could not see them. That ship was still afloat in all her greatness, all 38,000 tonnes of her. At that moment people were sitting down for cocktails and preparing for dinner, and at the next port of call people would watch the her docking and someone would say; ”Hey, there’s Marijana!!”

Just as we humans cannot see more than 13.4 billion light years (in any direction) into an apparently limitless Universe simply because of limitations in our technology, or see a ship beyond the horizon simply because of the curvature of the earth, death is horizon beyond which we cannot see simply because of limitations in our senses. So Marijana is not truly ‘gone’. I just cannot see her due to the constraints of my present existence.

And so all I, as a human being, can do in the meantime is to try not to miss her too much, continue with this life as best I can, and find comfort in continuing and finishing some of the tasks we started together.

And at some point in the future I’ll just have to do that same trip. I’m sure she’ll be waiting on the other side. Same smile. Same curly hair. Maybe even the blue dress as well.

You probably found this post because you are involved in some sort of marketing, and because one of your major aims is to become, truly, financially free. If this is an accurate assessment, please read on.

I personally attach a great amount of importance to the motivating reasons behind doing things, i.e. the ‘whys’. So if we are not achieving quite the desired results in our online endeavors, it is possible that our ‘whys’ are not big enough, and that we might have to re-evaluate our way of thinking to get our proverbial house in order. Remember that all games involve a ‘mind-set’ and a ‘skill-set’. Both are crucial. However in marketing, as in basketball, tennis, rugby, golf and most other sports, it is the mind-set that separates the ‘men from the boys’.

For everything we do, whether making a cup of coffee or creating a million-dollar income, there is a motivation, or a ‘motive’, for action. Upon closer inspection we can actually distinguish between two sub-classes of motivators, viz. those moving us away from pain or discomfort, and those moving us towards reward or pleasure. I don’t think we should dwell too much on the negatives, as these could act as inappropriate instructions to our subconscious minds if overemphasized. However, it is actually good to work up a little disgust and affirm; “This is IT! I’ve HAD IT!” So, in the remainder of this post, we will dwell briefly on the negatives. After that, I promise never to bring up a negative topic again!

If you are unsure of what these bad things are, let me give you some clues:

- Are you lacking ample free time?
- Is your 401k (or equivalent) enough for retirement (or, even worse…do you have ANY provision for retirement?
- Are you being pursued by the 30-day paycheck monster?
- Is there a risk of losing your job?
- Do you have to forfeit time with family members and friends due to work reasons, or not being able to travel?
- Are you sick and tired of commuting?
- Are you fed up with working for a boss?
- Do you resent the pittance you receive as a wage or salary?
- Are you unable to go on vacation four times (or more) a year?
- Do you love watching others fly planes and sail yachts while you can’t?
- Are you disgusted with your tacky wardrobe?
- When last could you afford a trip to the other side of the planet??
- Can you afford all the medical services you or your loved ones require?
- Can you afford the supplements/gym memberships etc to keep yourself in top physical shape?
- If you, or your partner, are over 50 – can you afford some much needed makeovers?

I could entertain you for another five minutes, but I think you’ve got the idea. To summarize: if you cannot do what you want, when you want, where you want, with whom you want to, for as long as you want to, then you have reason to feel VERY angry. Society has played a very nasty trick on you by making you believe this is inevitable. That’s a big lie!

Online marketing is a solution to this dilemma, if you do it right. But if you really want to achieve financial freedom in a very short time, you must go for it flat-out, which means your motivators (your ‘whys’) must be in overdrive.

Making a hasty retreat, away from stuff you despise, is one side of the coin. In my next article I will discuss the positive motivators; the ‘good stuff’ that pull you forward. See you there!

Susan Boyle has become a household name. Ever since I saw her on Britain’s got talent for the first time, she’s had the ability to move me to tears. Of enjoyment, that is. Viva, Susan, Viva. World-class. But what intrigues me most is not her ethereal voice, or that the fact that she remained undiscovered for so long, or that the people who first sniggered when she walked on stage that fateful day on Britain’s Got talent eventually rose in unanimous applause, or that even the cynical Simon was at a loss for words.

I’d like you to watch that now-famous video online, with particular focus on her body language. When the music started, she changed from a somewhat unattractive middle-aged working-class woman (no offense meant) into a DIVA. She BECAME that world-class singer she aspired to be. She BECAME Elaine Paige. Whatever the audience thought did not matter any longer.

On the contrary, I have watched many an acclaimed Hollywood actor become unstuck when coming on-stage for Larry Ling live or the David Letterman show, or to collect an Oscar. Suddenly their confidence seems to vanish and they’re no longer cool and composed. The suave actor is no longer present. He has left his movie character at the studio.

Let me give you one more example. Many years ago, at Primary school, we had an English teacher by the name of Dan Davis. Dan’s biggest challenge was to let kids talk English (their second language) in front of their peers. He solved the problem by letting them don masks. Little Johnny might have been very hesitant when chatting to Sally before putting on the mask, but in doing so he BECAME Leo the Lion. And Leo had no problems chatting to Tammy the Tiger.

So what’s happening here? My hallucination is that we all operate from the perspective of a ‘default persona’. Our ‘persona’ or ‘personality’ is basically a set of rules that govern they way we walk, talk and act in various situations, and it governs what we are capable of, or not.  In short- who and what we are. I’m shy, I’m confident, I’m hot, I’m not; the list goes on and on. Now if this helps us to achieve desired results, it’s fine. But if it gets in my way, then we’ve got a problem. If your persona helped you to level out at $50K a year for the past five years, there is NO WAY you are going to breeze into a million-dollar income bracket with the co-operation of that persona.

This is the point where we, as entrepreneurs, often become unstuck. We need to create that new ‘persona’, and imbue it with all the attributes of the ‘new me’, capable of doing whatever we desire. Then put on that ‘mask’ as often as we can. And eventually BECOME that person.

Is this a tall order? Heck, no! An overnight exercise? Sadly not. But it’s fun!
PS I watched that video again, just for kicks. ENCORE!!!